Back In Action - Bigger and BAD!der

Bonjour mes amis. Spring may have finally sprung, and with every new spring comes new beginnings. That's right, today is the first day dodgeball is back in session. Ahh, it feels like yesterday we were making out with some newbie in the back of Cubbyhole, waiting for Kylie to play on the jukebox. Well the time has come to strap on that jock strap again, grab your IDs and locks, and remember to wash your team shirt because BAD! is back, and (no pun intended) badder than ever. I know I know, they say that every season, but we actually think this season is going to be a crazy amazing time because, well, most of the people from last season are back and they all kicked ass. For those of you who have never played, we would love to give some pointers to what you might expect from tonight (and the season).

You can expect on court dramatics. That's right they don't call gays dramatic for nothing. There will be flair, there will be cheers, there will be chants (thank god Eastern Bloc is disbanded from last season), but most of all there will be all kinds of drama on the court. Someone will bitch about a call, someone *may or may not* cross a line and the ref *may or may not* see them, someone will get hit in head accidentially, someone may or may not be hit in the balls, and of course some people may cheat. We know the honor system only goes so far, so be an adult and play fair. No one likes a cheater, they never get laid at the afterparties.

There will be dancing at the after-party. Not just any kind of dancing, but dirty, really dirty, dancing. The kinda dancing that makes you blush, and then you wonder how can people get that low? We have seen everything from jump ropes to limbo at the after-parties in the past, so really nothing would shock us at this point. Of course guys will dance with guys, and girls will dance with girls, but it's always the most crazy when the guys dance with the girls. Why, we will never know. They always seem to take it the next level, not that we are complaining. It's just funny. Although if you aren't dancing, you are probably...

You are probably ruling at the flip-cup table.  Such a big contingent of the after-parties are the fact that the flip-cup tables are where all of the action is. That's right, every dog has it's day at the table. If you aren't very good at flip-cup well we suggest you start practicing during your lunch hour because amazingness at the flip-cup table will score you cool points (and sometimes a new trick). That's right, who likes to be on a losing team during flip-cup? We may have witnessed a new trend last season at the flip-cup table called "Spin the Bottle" flip-cup which heated up many a chilly Fall night last season, we just wonder if the trend will make a comeback in the Spring. Well 9 times out of 10 if you have just played a round at the flip-cup table you may notice...

People tend to spill drinks. Yeah we know it sucks, we hate when it happens to us. It's part of the lovely nature of any bar experience. So do us a favor, don't wear your new Prada shirt and Louis Vuitton boots when you know you will be flipping a plastic cup of Bud Light in the basement of Gym Bar. Plan accordingly. Also watch your cell phones and bags, do yourself a favor and splurge on the extra two bucks for coatcheck instead of shoving it under a table. It will save you so much headache in the longrun.  We know you might not be keeping an eye on your jacket because...

You will be macking on some cute guy/girl. It's enivitable if you combine alcohol, the testerone of playing a night of dodgeball, the guys from Grindr not chatting you back, skipping dinner, and the looks from across the flip-cup table when you are kicking ass and taking names. Hooking up is human nature, it just so happens that BAD! has some of the finest ladies and hottest guys this west side of Manhattan. We don't blame you dodgeballers, hell we would hook up with them too if we looked like half of you! Our friendly suggestion would be don't cockblock your friends if you know there is some newbie they want to try to mack on. Just like cheaters, no one likes a cockblock, it's bad hook-up karma and it makes you look like a douchebag.

You will take off your clothes at some after-party this season. We know, we know, this is the one thing you say, "Nope not me, ain't gonna happen". When it's 2 AM and that pole at Henrietta Hudson's has been used more than pass around bottom at the Eagle, we won't hold it against you. That's because it happens to everyone. If it ain't at the flip-cup table, it's going to be on a bar somewhere, or perhaps on the stage at Pieces, or on the catwalk at XES, the dancefloor at Cubbyhole. Point being, you can't escape it. Everyone has their moment in time to show off their Fire Island frames, and hell some of you even make money off it. If your pretty and you know it, you will end up shirtless before the end of the night. Mark our words, and trust us no one is complaining. What's the point of putting so much time at the gym if you can't show off the goods every now and again?

We hope you dodgeballers don't disappoint us and make this the craziest season yet. Newbies, if you don't know what the hell you got yourself into, don't worry we know you will fit in just fine ;) Vets, don't take advantage of the newbies...too much. Be nice, it's their first week in a big new league and we are sure they will need a helping hand to guide the way in the beginning. Just remember, you were a newbie once before too. Ahhh, the more things change, the more they always seem to stay the same. xoxo